Sarah Bessey
If you are visiting this page, I imagine that either you have struggled with questions of faith, have heard about deconstruction but are unsure of what it means, or know of someone struggling in this way.
Whatever brings you here, welcome.
Life can bring so much pain our way. Often, when faith is important to us, we can find solace in its embrace. We pray and feel God's presence. We reach out to fellow believers and feel supported. We read the Bible and discover purpose in the midst of our suffering.
Sometimes our faith helps, but sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes, despite all of our efforts to connect with God and others, to find comfort through prayer or other spiritual practices, we feel alone and as if nothing is getting better. In these moments, our faith can shift from being a source of support to a source of pain. We can feel that God is absent, or even that God has betrayed us or let us down. We might feel anger towards our religious community for their inability to provide the support we need. We might even start to doubt our faith, question deeply held religious beliefs, or even wonder if life has purpose. If any of these descriptions resonate with you, then you are experiencing what is called a spiritual struggle.
Spiritual struggle is a term that comes out of the religious coping literature and although similar to deconstruction is more expansive. Many people experience spiritual struggles without questioning, doubting, or changing their beliefs which is what most people mean when they describe deconstructing their faith. However, many who struggle spiritually do enter into a time of deconstruction. In either case, spiritual struggles are painful and need to be addressed. Not doing so can increase our suffering, showing up as anxiety, depression, or other symptoms of psychological and spiritual distress.
For this reason, I choose to work with those experiencing pain related to their faith through the lens of spiritual struggle as I find it more robust and helpful. If you are experiencing a spiritual struggle and would like a companion to help you navigate these painful waters, don't hesitate to reach out.
I have included a definition of the types of religious and spiritual struggles below and provided resources that I hope you will find helpful as your traverse these painful waters.
Religious and spiritual struggles are my main area of research and writing. If you would like to read some of my academic articles on the topic, you can access them here.
Divine struggles: When you are angry at God, feel as if God has abandoned or betrayed you, then you might be experiencing this type of supernatural struggle.
Demonic struggles: When you believe that evil spirits or the devil are orchestrating negative events and attacking you.
You might be experiencing interpersonal struggles if....
Intrapersonal struggles include doubt-related, moral, or ultimate meaning related conflicts.
Doubt-related struggles: When you feel inner turmoil concerning the religious beliefs you have been taught. These types of struggles are most often what people term "deconstruction."
Moral struggles: When you experience excessive guilt, ambivalence, or distress in your inability to align with the moral standards and behaviors or you faith system.
Ultimate meaning struggles: When you wonder if your life has purpose or if you are living purposefully.
After Doubt by theologian and pastor A.J. Swoboda explores how faith can endure and mature through seasons of deconstruction. Writing from both pastoral and academic perspectives, Swoboda examines the cultural and emotional forces that lead many—especially former evangelicals—to question or abandon their beliefs. Drawing on Scripture, church history, and his own experience, he invites readers to view doubt not as a destination but as part of a lifelong process of discipleship. The book offers a balanced approach that honors intellectual honesty while calling readers back to embodied, rooted faith within Christian community. It is particularly valuable for those seeking to rebuild belief without rejecting the richness of Christian tradition.
Faith After Doubt offers a developmental approach to understanding spiritual change. Drawing on theology, psychology, and his experience as a pastor, McLaren outlines four stages of faith—Simplicity, Complexity, Perplexity, and Harmony—to show how questioning long-held beliefs can lead to maturity rather than loss. Readers encounter practical insights for navigating deconstruction, reconstructing a faith grounded in love, and moving beyond rigid certainties toward deeper spiritual integration. This book is especially relevant for those transitioning out of evangelicalism or traditional church settings and seeking a framework for continued spiritual growth.
A Faith of Many Rooms by Debie Thomas offers a deeply personal and theologically rich exploration of what it means to belong when one’s faith has grown too small for the house it once lived in. Drawing on her journey from Indian-American evangelical roots through seasons of doubt and transition, Thomas invites readers into a “roomier” Christianity—one that allows for questions about sin, salvation, gender, and identity without forcing a return to old dogmas. She argues that the gospel itself is expansive and that our inherited faith traditions are only one room in a much larger dwelling. TThis book is ideal for readers who have left or are rummaging through evangelical spaces and are looking for a faith that is inclusive, honest, and rooted in both tradition and transformation
Set against the backdrop of her hometown of Dayton, Tennessee—the site of the historic Scopes “Monkey Trial”—Faith Unraveled traces Rachel Held Evans’s journey from evangelical certainty to a more open, questioning faith. Using the cultural legacy of that trial as a metaphor for the tension between faith and science, Evans reflects on how she learned to reconcile doubt, reason, and belief. Through engaging storytelling and thoughtful theological reflection, she explores topics such as biblical interpretation, evolution, and the fear of questioning within conservative Christianity. This book is ideal for readers navigating the space between inherited beliefs and a more intellectually and spiritually honest faith.
I’ve Got Questions by Erin Hicks Moon is a candid and compassionate invitation to those whose faith no longer fits the mold they inherited. Drawing from her journey through evangelical roots and deep questioning, Moon guides readers through a spiritual practice of lament, curiosity, and honest dialogue—with God and with oneself. She offers tools for understanding the good, the bad, the ugly (and the just plain bizarre) of one’s faith origins, giving permission to set new boundaries and rebuild with integrity. Ideal for anyone wrestling with inherited religion, longing for authenticity, and ready for a faith formed by questions as much as answers.
Leaving Church is Barbara Brown Taylor’s reflective memoir about her decision to step away from ordained ministry and rediscover a life of faith outside the institutional church. Drawing from her years as an Episcopal priest, Taylor offers a deeply honest account of vocation, burnout, and the tension between spiritual calling and religious structure. The book explores themes of identity, rest, and the sacredness of ordinary life, inviting readers to consider how faith might flourish beyond formal roles or traditional expectations. It’s particularly meaningful for pastors, ministry leaders, or spiritually inclined readers discerning how to remain connected to God while reimagining what “church” can mean.
Out of Sorts by Sarah Bessey blends memoir, theology, and gentle pastoral reflection to explore what it means to lose and rediscover faith in the midst of change. Bessey writes candidly about her own shift away from evangelical certainties, touching on topics such as evolving views of Scripture, the role of women in the church, and belonging outside traditional religious structures. Rather than prescribing answers, she models how faith can be rebuilt through vulnerability, community, and continued engagement with Jesus. Readers will encounter a narrative that is both deeply personal and theologically grounded—ideal for those who find themselves “in between” beliefs and want language for holding grief, curiosity, and hope together.
Searching for Sunday chronicles Rachel Held Evans’s journey of leaving and rediscovering the church through the lens of the seven sacraments—baptism, confession, communion, confirmation, marriage, vocation, and anointing of the sick. Written with her characteristic warmth and honesty, Evans reflects on the disillusionment many millennials feel toward organized religion while still yearning for belonging, grace, and sacred community. Through personal narrative and theological reflection, she reimagines how ancient Christian practices can speak to contemporary questions of doubt, inclusion, and faith renewal. This book is ideal for readers seeking hope and connection after disconnection from traditional church life, offering a vision of faith rooted in story, ritual, and the shared table.
In The Sin of Certainty, biblical scholar Pete Enns challenges the assumption that faith depends on absolute theological correctness. Through close readings of Scripture, personal narrative, and humor, Enns reframes faith as trust in God’s presence rather than confidence in one’s answers. He explores how biblical figures themselves wrestled with uncertainty and invites readers to see doubt as an authentic form of devotion. This book is ideal for readers emerging from evangelical contexts who want a biblically informed, intellectually honest path toward a more relational and resilient faith.
The Bible for Normal People invites listeners into honest, intelligent conversations about Scripture. Hosted by Old Testament scholar, Pete Enns, and former pastor, Jared Byas, the podcast features scholars, pastors, and thinkers who explore the Bible’s history, interpretation, and relevance for modern faith. Their goal is to help everyday listeners engage seriously with Scripture, truth, and Christian faith by translating advanced biblical scholarship into conversational, accessible dialogue.
The Evolving Faith Podcast, hosted by Sarah Bessey and Jeff Chu, offers a space for “the wounded, the misfits, and the spiritual refugees” to know they are not alone. Apple Podcasts+1 Through candid conversations with thinkers, writers, and faith wanderers, the show explores doubt, belonging, scripture, and what it means to move forward with hope in the wilderness of faith. It’s ideal for listeners who have outgrown traditional faith frameworks or who simply want honest conversation about evolving belief, community, and the story of God that is bigger, wider, and more inclusive than they may have imagined.
Faith Adjacent is a podcast hosted by Knox McCoy and Jamie Golden, along with resident Bible scholar Erin Moon. Together they bring pop culture savvy, biblical curiosity, and scholarly insight to examine faith in modern life. Through episodes that dive into scripture stories, movies, kids’ questions, and more, the show blends humor and depth to make theological discussion accessible and engaging. If you’re interested in rethinking faith, exploring big questions, and hearing honest conversations without the same old answers, this is for you.
Nomad Podcast brings more than 15 years of open, honest conversations from across the Christian spectrum and beyond. Hosted by Tim Nash and co-host Joy Brooks (formerly Nick Thorley), it features theologians, activists, and contemplatives exploring faith, doubt, identity, and hope in generous and thoughtful ways. Reflecting on evangelical heritage, the show invites listeners to engage questions of belief, belonging and transformation—not by insisting on easy answers, but by inviting curiosity, compassion and deeper listening.
Religion on the Mind is a podcast where psychologist and host Dan Koch applies his background in clinical psychology and spiritual exploration to invite meaningful conversations between progressives and evangelicals. Drawing on research in trauma, meaning-making, and faith transitions, each episode offers a space where divergent traditions can listen, learn, and engage without dismissal. Whether you identify with a specific faith tradition, are questioning your beliefs, or simply want to understand how religion shapes mind and culture, this show fosters thoughtful, respectful dialogue across divides.
Slow Theology is a podcast where scholars and pastors Dr A.J. Swoboda (theologian) and Dr Nijay K. Gupta (New Testament scholar) bring their academic depth and pastoral insight into thoughtful conversations about faith, scripture, and everyday life. Together, they model what it looks like to let theology slow down, inviting listeners into a space where questions, wonder, and complexity are welcomed rather than rushed. It’s ideal for anyone who wants theology that isn’t just smart—but also humble, usable, and deeply human.
Unbelievable? is a thought-provoking podcast hosted by Ruth Jackson and a team of Christian apologists that brings together believers, skeptics, and scholars for respectful dialogue on questions like “Is there evidence for God?” or “Can we trust the Bible?” Each episode features guests from diverse backgrounds exploring worldviews, faith, doubt, and meaning in ways that bridge the gap between skepticism and belief. Ideal for anyone curious about faith beyond simple answers, this podcast invites listeners into deep, open-ended conversation, not quick fixes.
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